


under the stars and in the grass

by firstaudrina



Category: The End Of The Fucking World (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 11:54:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13501206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firstaudrina/pseuds/firstaudrina
Summary: James had a way of looking at her out of the corner of his eye, quick and furtive. Sometimes those glances felt like dangling a feather on a string in front of a cat. Sometimes they felt like a proffered hand that Alyssa wanted to swat away just for daring to reach.





	under the stars and in the grass

**Author's Note:**

  * For [girljustdied](https://archiveofourown.org/users/girljustdied/gifts).



_before_

James had a way of looking at her out of the corner of his eye, quick and furtive. Sometimes those glances felt like dangling a feather on a string in front of a cat. Sometimes they felt like a proffered hand that Alyssa wanted to swat away just for daring to reach.

"What?" Alyssa demanded. The car was in flames and the street bare of oncoming traffic. It was too late to get into bed with strangers (who the fuck picked up two teenagers in the middle of the fucking night when one didn't even have a shirt on?) so they were on the ground, trees above forming a shaggy canopy with gaps like lace through which stars beamed. They were like neon, so fucking bright. 

"What?" James repeated, a moment too slow and much more measured. He was lying in the warm leather of her father's jacket, shivering and pretending not to. Alyssa liked the feeling of the damp grass on her bare arms. She loved looking at the sky.

"Seem like you have something to say." She sounded like she was daring him. "Do you?"

There was another lag before James said, "No." Then, "I dunno."

"Well, which is it?" Alyssa bit out. She said things like that sometimes, like she was angry when really she wasn't feeling much of anything at all. "Do you have something to say or not?"

Silence fell, or near-silence. Crickets chirped deafeningly over the rustling of the leaves but it was so loud it was quiet. Then James said, "But how could we have done it while I kept driving?"

Alyssa laughed, sharp and squawking. Then she said, "Your nipples are hard," and almost smirked with satisfaction when James pulled the edges of the jacket closer around himself.

 

 

 

after

Alyssa wouldn't look at him. The tall grass that surrounded her dad's camper prickled against the back of James' neck and made his ears itch but he didn't try to get comfortable or move somewhere else. He just lay there with Alyssa's shoulder against his shoulder and her eyes elsewhere. He wasn't sure he'd ever get used to that straw-colored hair.

"Do you think he's a bit…" James tried, and Alyssa turned to face him. Her eyes were expectant and defiant and a little vulnerable. It made James think of the first rabbit he'd killed, the parting of its throat against the blade of his knife. He had set a trap to catch it after looking up how to make his own on the internet. It hadn't seemed scared when he killed it.

The memory sent a new, unsettling roil of nausea through him. He could picture the blood splattering across Alyssa's face, brighter than her freckles.

Alyssa said, "A bit?"

"Tattooed," James finished lamely, and tried to give her a smile that didn't waver. He couldn't tell if his attempt landed. "Are you happy? Here?"

The dry grass was almost the same color as her hair now. Earlier Alyssa had stuck a spring between her lips like a cowboy in an old American movie. She carried it off. James would have to try it.

"I'm alright," Alyssa said, but her voice twisted up in a way that made James' stomach twist up too, because he knew she was. She was.

James put his hand in hers. Not the weird one. Alyssa let him and her sudden smile, her crooked teeth, felt like a knife.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr at [firstaudrina](http://firstaudrina.tumblr.com/). :)


End file.
